Having an orgasm can be a struggle on its own, but what if I told you there are people who get themselves almost to the cusp, and then stop themselves at the last minute – deliberately.
This is called ‘edging’, and loads of people believe it makes their following orgasms muuuuuch better.
So, what is Edging?
It is the practice of stopping stimulation before you come exactly, waiting about 30 seconds and then going on to stimulate yourself again, repeating this till one is ready to orgasm – essentially making the experience much more intense than usual. The edging practice is frequently brought up in sexual health discussions, yet whilst it usually mentions people with a penis to ameliorate premature ejaculation, it can also be beneficial for females.
Are you down to try Edging?
Well, practice makes perfect, so if you’re willing to try it …
1. Start out solo
As with orgasm, edging takes some skill, till you figure out what your body wants and how to do it. Thus, it is better that you try edging on your own first. Find a comfortable place, a place where you will not be interrupted so as to be able to focus completely on your masturbation. Make the environment ideal – light that candle, turn off the lights, turn up that music…
2. Get in the mood and take note of your body
Through edging, you will become aware with what your body wants and what brings you closer to orgasm – what parts of you tense up, what is your most erogenous zone, does your heart rate go up, what you don’t like, are you sweating and shaking? Take note of these changes as this will make you more aware of how close you are to orgasming.
This may sound a tad scientific – but think of your arousal on a scale of one to ten – ten being final orgasm. Edging means stopping yourself as you get to around eight, then stop masturbating or just alter the intensity with which you are touching yourself, lighter, gentler – until you feel calmer (say down to a five).
The fun part is building back up to an eight or nine, then dropping down back to a three. Keep on doing this till you feel you can’t tease yourself any longer. Then, let it go – allow yourself to reach orgasm, which you might notice lasts longer or is more intense.
3. Try it with a partner
Couples who wish to try edging must firstly talk about it – talk to your partner about he/she likes or dislikes, get a sense of his/her sexual timings and if they are comfortable with trying it out. Go through your favourite foreplay or positions with your partner. Now is the time to get vocal – give cues and tell them to instruct you when they feel like they are coming. At that moment, reduce or stop simulation so that they go back to the plateau stage. Restart the stimulation process again – and use your imagination!
4. Knowing when to stop
Compromising is key – whilst one may want to edge for a long time, the other might find it tedious by time. Listen to your partner, communicate and formulate a kind of sign or safe word which would mean someone is ready to come – Never delay someone’s pleasure without their consent. If you’re edging solo, feel free to let yourself orgasm whenever you feel like it.
5. What is ultimately, the benefit of Edging?
One wonders, so whoever really thought of edging first? Going back to 1988, Leah and Bob Schwartz talked about the Venus Butterfly which stems down to “one hour orgasm” ultimately, edging. Edging can have multiple benefits for improving masturbation and sex eventually.
- It helps people, especially those with vaginas, to achieve orgasm easily. In 2014, a study by Lucena & Abdo found that people who masturbate, orgasm better.
- Reduce feelings of embarrassment by highlighting body awareness and confidence. In 2006, Dr. Bachmann highlited how women feel embarrassed talking to their doctors about sex, thus learning about yourself through edging can give you more confidence when it comes to approaching your doctor.
- More holistic partnered sex, moving away from the emphasis of penetration. A 2018 study found that over 36% of women achieve orgasm only through clit simulation. Thus, these results show how important it is to experiment with edging which can allow you to explore different ways to pleasure oneself.
6. Are there any side-effects to Edging?
A common misconception which frequently accompanies conversations about edging is delayed ejaculation – which is usually psychological due to anxiety that one may not be able to ejaculate. Another common misunderstanding is that edging can lead to epididymal hypertension in men – more known as blue balls. These are false claims about the injury one can cause when one gets aroused and doesn’t come. ‘Blue balls’ does NOT in fact have any long-term effects and can be relieved by in essence doing a Valsalva manoeuvre – hold your breath and exhale until your ears clear out.
Through every kind of sexual experimentation, you will be able to discover yourself and what turns you on, specifically but remember that not everything will work for you – and that is OK. Edging may seem as a challenge at first, but remember that you won’t know if you don’t try. Have fun!